"So, all hail the underdogs
All hail the new kids
All hail the outlaws
Spielbergs and Kubricks
It's our time to make a move
It's our time to make amends
It's our time to break the rules
Let's begin..."
- Renegades // X Ambassadors
On Friday, July 31st, 2015, I flew, along with my teammates, to Toronto to begin our journey at the Parapan American Games. We bussed out to London for 2 days to do a bit of training before we headed back into Toronto. It was nice to have those couple days to come together, refocus, and get some touches. On Sunday, August 2nd, we took a bus into the heart of downtown Toronto and checked into our home for the next 2 weeks, the Athletes Village. This was all such a blur and so overwhelming. It went very smoothly and we quickly got to our rooms which were located in the Team Canada building right on the main corner in the village. The men were on floor 10, and we were on floor 6. 6 of us ladies were in 1 room, and 4 in the other across the hall. We were each greeted by a brand new Team Canada suitcase filled with a Team Canada backpack, Hudson Bay Company team clothing, and gifts from the City of Toronto, CIBC, and HBC. This included shirts, sweatpants, shorts, yoga pants, multiple sweaters, a windbreaker, runners, a hat, sunglasses, Team Canada pins, a TO 2015 towel, water bottles, a small TO 2015 duffel bag, and more paraphernalia. Obviously we began trying on our new clothes all at once and comparing with each other. The excitement level was quite high. Eventually we all got organized and settled in and headed for the dining hall. It was masssssive. I can’t even think of how to scale it so you’ll understand. They had basically every kind of food I could ever think of eating, most importantly chocolate milk. That was an essential every day, multiple times a day. After we ate we had a meeting, explored a bit, saw a lot of people from other countries who had also checked in already, and then went to bed. We had a long two weeks ahead of us. I won’t explain the full two weeks day by day because it’s rather repetitive, and frankly I don’t really remember what happened every single day. They all kind of blend together. The first week was full of training/practicing. Monday – Friday we trained once or twice at a day at our competition venue, which was about a 30 minute drive depending on the Toronto traffic. It’s a brand new facility that was built for the games. Sitting volleyball and swimming took place there. The courts were soooo nice, the slipperiest I’ve ever played on. That was awesome. When we weren’t training we were either eating, continuing to explore the village, getting physio done to keep our bodies in tip top shape, meeting new people, or constantly hanging out our sweaty clothes to dry (okay I think the last once is mostly me..haha). We also did 2 team spins lead by our lovely therapist Lauren. I thought I would hate it, but I actually killed it. Spin is fun and challenging, especially with one leg. The whole week was basically the same thing over and over just in slightly different orders each day. On the evening of Tuesday the 11th myself, Shacarra, Katelyn, and Tessa went to the Blue Jays game since we had the evening off. It was a lot of fun, and I bought a flat brimmed Jays hat, so my street cred is pretty much through the roof now. Plus we met DJ Smuggz, so if he ever becomes famous, we know him. Angelena and I also met some nice cops one day and they took us on adventures on their police golf carts around the village. There was so much we didn’t even know existed. That was real fun, especially since we didn’t have to walk. So, shout outs to Sgt. Steve Campbell, A-A Ron, and Hamilton. You guys rock, thanks for the tours and good times. During the first week we also had an unofficial scrimmage with Brazil, and a full match run through with Cuba so the officials could practice protocol. It was really nice and helpful to play against some of the other teams before the real competition began. On Thursday we had the Team Canada Welcome Ceremony in the village. We marched the streets chanting and waving allllll the Canadian flags. It was awesome to mingle with so many other people from Team Canada since most of us didn't know anyone outside of sitting volleyball. On Friday it was the Opening Ceremonies in the evening. It was so awe inspiring marching into the venue surrounded by my fellow Canadian athletes. The support we received was more than I could imagine. I don't think that feeling could ever get old. The second week was filled with morning training and competing in the evenings. We had Saturday off so we went and watched the men’s first game vs Costa Rica, which they took in 3 sets. On Sunday our competition began. We played the USA in our first match. It was very nerve wracking. Very. I cannot explain walking through the curtain onto the competition court for the first time. Wearing your countries jersey and representing where you’re from is one of the greatest honors someone can experience. Seeing my parents in the crowd was beyond amazing as this was the first time they would see me play. But when I saw Hayley and Alix sitting next to them my emotions got sent right to the edge. I basically had a total emotional breakdown on the bench right before the match. I had NO idea they were coming, and apparently they’d been planning this since March. Oh how my heart was so overjoyed to see them. The match went pretty well for being our first! The USA is the 2nd ranked team in the world, so they're rather experienced. After the first set we got settled in, and played with them at times. We lost but learnt a ton. The second day we played Brazil. They play less relaxed than the Americans, and instead give it 100% all the time. It was quite intense. We lost this game, but through the ups and downs we learnt a lot yet again. The third day we played Cuba, and took them in 3 sets. It was a very different game then the first two as they are a much more scrambly team. Balls came over on first and second contacts and we had to adjust our game to expect that and play our system out of it. Once again, we learnt a lot. On Wednesday we had a day off to rest. This was really nice and well needed. I didn’t practice, but instead just stretched and got some more physio done to keep my body ready for competing. Thursday consisted of semi finals. The men lost their semi final to the USA, resulting in them not qualifying for Rio. We were on the practice courts while they were playing and could feel the energy through the curtain. They played their hearts out and left it all on the court. My heart aches for them. I am still so sad. While they were walking out they wished us luck. This snapped me back into it, and I took all that emotion I was feeling into our semi against Brazil. And oh how fun it was. We took 20 points the first set. It was UNREAL. The emotion and connection we all had on the court was insane. The energy was palpable. I finally felt like I had made it back to the kind of volleyball I love. REALLY competing again made my heart sing. We lost that game in 3 sets. But we made them work for the win and never gave up. I am SO proud of my team for that match. We showed up and competed. Then came the bronze medal match the following day against Cuba. This match didn’t only have a medal on the line, but a berth to Rio as well. We all channeled the energy from the previous day against Brazil and brought it to this game. We usually had technical and tactical goals before our matches, but for this match Nicole instead challenged us to take risks, play hard, and play for each other. That stuck with me. I think it stuck with all of us. I know it did. We played our game, beat Cuba in 3 sets, and ended it with a fabulous team hug on the court full of love, tears, joy, and pride. Ian even smiled, there are photos to prove it. Achieving our goal was so amazing. All the work we put in lead to that match, that moment, and it paid off. Rio here we come!!!!
That night was great. We received our medal, which was an experience unlike any other. We celebrated in the distillery district right next to the village, and got about 4.5 hours of sleep. Saturday morning we had a team meeting. During the afternoon we showered and packed up most of our stuff. At 6pm we met in the village center and hopped on busses that took us to Nathan Phillips Square about 5-10 minutes away for the Closing Ceremonies. Once again it was an incredibly humbling experience walking into the venue surrounded by my fellow Canadian athletes being cheered on by so many people and volunteers. The entire square was closed off strictly for athletes, while the public gathered one level up around the edges to watch. There were a lot of performances, the Canadian anthem, speeches, the lowering of the Paralympic Committee flag, and the extinguishing of the Parapan Am flame. Wycleaf Jean was the final performer and got everyone up to the front dancing and prepared for the real party that was to take place later that night. It was a bit of a gong show getting out of the square. In the process I traded my awful polo for a Brazilian shirt, which was my goal all along. Score. Shacarra and I stuck together and made it out. Somehow we ended up in the wheelchair line for the buses trying to learn Portuguese and had to jump a fence to get in the right line. That was fun, and we made some awesome friends in the process. Once back in the village we went straight to our rooms and got ready to go out. After some fast beautification and a snack in the dining hall we made our way to the distillery district again. We had a few drinks, and after about an hour or so around 1am we made our way back to the village because there was an AMAZING block party set up outside the athletes lounge. An awesome DJ and huge dance floor surrounded by couches and speakers awaited everyone. No words can explain how fun this night was. We danced the night away. Just danced and danced and danced. Loved and sweated every minute of it. We spent most the time with some members of the Brazil men’s and women’s sitting volleyball teams. The language barrier was relatively non-existent. It was so fun hanging out and dancing with them, especially since we’re going to Rio next year! I sat and talked for about an hour after the party died down with my 2 of my new Brazilian friends, Ribas and Fabricio. If you don't know who they are, you should probably change your life. Just kidding, but seriously though. They're real cool and it was nice to make some new friends and learn more about Brazil! A bit after 5am I got back to my room and finished packing with everyone. Tessa, Felicia, and Shacarra were leaving at 5:45, so I was up with them till they left. Then I had a 25 minute “nap”, got back up, changed into my travel clothes, finished packing the remainder of my sweaty clothing, and made my way downstairs at 6:45 with the remainder of the team for our 7:15 bus to the airport. Everything went very smoothly that morning. I’m pretty sure we all passed out on the bus since we’d been awake for almost 24 hours. We grabbed some well-needed Tim’s once we were through security and said our goodbyes. Then us Edmonton folk made our way to our 10am flight home. The flight went by very fast. I slept the ENTIRE way. My dad was waiting for me at the airport, man I love him. We got my luggage, I peed, and we drove home. I slept half the way. We got home at around 1:30pm. It’s a very conflicting feeling being home. I’m so relieved, yet so sad. All I want is to be back in the village surrounded by my fellow athletes and friends, new and old. Yet at the same time it’s nice being back to real life. I went to bed at 2 for a “nap”. I shed quite a few tears before I fell asleep. So much exhaustion and so many emotions were piled up inside me, and I finally let it all out. I woke up at 11:30. I thought I’d be up all night, but nope, I peed and went back to bed only to wake up at 8:30 the next morning. So in the first 21 hours of being home I slept for 17+ of them. It’s amazing how much my body needed that. So cleansing. I think it saved me from the cold I had felt creeping up on me. I finally unpacked everything, and am almost done doing my laundry. All afternoon I thought about my time in Toronto. I can’t stop thinking about it. I think most people feel like this when they come back from somewhere. Or maybe I’m just an overly emotional person. I’m pretty sure there’s a good chance that that’s it. I know time will help, it always does. But right now, in these moments, while it’s still fresh in my mind, I miss it, I miss it with every part of me. And I think it’ll take a while for that feeling to go away.
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Now it’s time for some well needed shout outs to some amazing people. I’ll start with Dr. Andy. Andy was assigned as the medical lead for our team and man was he awesome. I can talk about his secret powers now that the games are over. He somehow got us extra pillows, lip chap, and other special requests along with pain and cold medication for anyone that needed it. He came to practices and shagged balls. He was a constant presence of support and smiles. So much thanks to you Andy. Also part of the medical staff are our sitting volleyball physical therapists, Lauren and Anne. Lauren/Lo/Lolo/DJ Lo, is just simply amazing. She’s my musical soul sister and personal miracle worker. I’ve never loved and hated someone so much at the same time. And because of that my hip flexors have never felt better or been more flexible. Stretch game strong. My buddy Anne/Annie is just so cute and adorable. She needled my sprained thumb, but I eventually forgave her for the pain she caused me. **thumbs up** All the love and appreciation for these two amazing women. I wouldn’t have been in fighting shape for the last game if it wasn’t for you two! Then there are my awesome coaches Nicole and Ian. Ian is also the High Performance Director for the Team Canada sitting volleyball program, so he had a lot on his plate during the last two weeks. He was very present and invested in our practices on top of all his other duties, so all the thanks to him for that. He does so much behind the scenes that I don’t even know about and it’s all sooooo greatly appreciated. And to our head coach, Nicole/Banny. She is the reason we are where we are. I can hardly put into words how integral her presence and coaching has been to this team. She is the perfect balance of coach and friend. I have oh so much respect for her as my coach, yet I know that I can confide in her when needed. She is blunt, intense, competitive, kind, selfless, and motivating, all at the same time. She is a marvelous coach and I am so so so thankful for her. Love you Banny.
And then there’s my team. Oh my team. How hard we’ve all worked to get here. We are a very diverse group of people. We differ in age, personality, interests, and where we’re at in life. But none of that matters when we are on the court. We have finally gotten to a place where we can put all of that aside and focus on the game. We aren’t afraid to be intense and hold each other accountable out there. Emotions and feelings stay on the sidelines. Getting to this point was hard, and a struggle, but we’ve seen how it can change our game for the better. We still have emotional ups and downs on the court, but we are continuously working towards maintaining the confidence inside each of us individually, and as a whole. Once we learn to constantly play with confidence, calamity, and relaxed intensity we’ll be where we need to be. We’ll be ready for Rio.
//
It was all so overwhelming. The last two weeks flew by. I miss it. More than words can express. The village. Our venue. The bus rides. Our room. But mostly, the people. I can’t fully explain the feeling of being constantly surrounded by people with other disabilities; some similar, and some very very different. It’s comforting. It’s humbling. And it’s beautiful. The village finally started feeling like a home after the opening ceremonies. The camaraderie of the games brought out something amazing in each of us. There are so many people from so many different countries. English, French, Spanish, and Portuguese were spoken all around at all times. We had a lot of good laughs trying to talk to each other(I don’t advise trying to learn Portuguese and Spanish at the same time. Haha). But beyond language, the spirit of sport was evident in everybody. Competition can bring out the best and/or worst in people, but it is also what we have in common. The desire to compete, regardless of the physical challenges we face, is an unspoken bond that I find so remarkable. I will forever remember and cherish my first games and what they have taught me.
Be confident.
Have fun.
Take risks.
Play hard.
Play for each other.
The bridge of Renegades is quoted at the beginning of the post. It has been our theme song for the past two weeks, and I think it will continue to be until Rio. We listened to it while warming up before our first session in London and it immediately stuck with us. It speaks volumes about who we are as a team. Plus it's real catchy. I also spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I was going to capture my experience at Parapan Am. I didn't have my camera with me, which I initially considered a limitation. But since my iPhone was all I had, I decided to commit to it. Every one of the photos below has been edited on my iPhone using either VSCO or Afterlight. They may not be the most photographically sound images, but together they represent one of the best and most powerful times of my life. So please press play and listen to this amazing song while you scroll through my favorite images from the past two weeks!
Cheers!
