To try put my time in north Holland into writing seems completely impossible, but my heart needs to release these words. So here it goes.
The morning of June 2nd was a highly anticipated one. I had been in Amsterdam for 2 days and was ready to go north to my family. I woke up, had breakfast, walked around and did some window-shopping, but by early afternoon I was getting nervous. Like excited nervous. So I sat down in the hostel bar, had a beer, and edited some photos to relax. A little after 2pm I got a message from Arjan saying he had arrived. I immediately grabbed all my things and headed outside. Seeing him standing there ready to greet me was so amazing. We hugged, got in the car, and made our way to Uithuizen. It was an odd feeling, but something inside me knew that I was going home.
When we arrived at the house Renate met me at the door with a huge smile and a tight hug. It felt so normal. And then I saw Geert standing in the kitchen. He walked over to me with his arms open wide and a huge grin across his face saying “Hallo, I’m Geert!” over and over. We hugged. He kissed my cheeks. And my heart nearly exploded. I had been waiting for months to embrace him and see his face in person. After the passing away of his wife, Emma, he had been on my mind a lot. So when I finally got to meet him it felt so surreal. It was almost as if I was dreaming.
(A little backstory for those of you who don’t know who these people all are J. First off, there’s my Opa Dirk and one of his sisters, Riek. Dirk is my mom’s father, and Riek is Emma’s mother. My mom and Emma are first cousins. Emma married Geert Uil, and they had 4 kids: Emmie, Sandra, Tony, and Renate, which makes them my mom’s second cousins, and my third cousins. I think. My Opa was 1 of 8 siblings, but he was the only one of them to immigrate to Canada. Emma was very close with my Opa(her uncle), and when she got married to Geert she made sure they came to Canada as soon as possible. They were so in love and had such an awesome time here. My parents and aunts and uncles have so many fun memories with them. I’ve felt like I’ve known them my whole life. About 10 years or more ago she developed a disease similar to Alzheimers and Dementia. She was in a home for about 8 years. Geert visited her every single day. Sometimes 3 times a day. But after being ill for so long, Emma passed away on April 5th. It’s been hard. She was one of the main reasons my family stayed so connected to our relatives in Holland.)
After finally meeting Geert we took a little tour of Arjan and Renate’s house and yard. Saw their ponies, bunny, and dog. When we went back inside I officially met their kids. I know them as small children, so to see them at ages 18, 15, and 10 was so weird. But cool. Then we just sat around the table and drank coffee and beer and talked. I closed my eyes and listened to the language. Then Tony and Judith showed up with their second oldest son Robert. We all hugged and said hi and drank more coffee and more beer. Then after a couple hours everyone had either went home or to bed and it was just Renate and I still awake. She brought out the vla, a magical pudding-like dessert that is perfection. We sat by the kitchen table and just talked. About my schooling, where I live, her kids, her job, my volleyball, the Paralympics, faith, God, and just life in general. It was SO amazing that we could just have a real authentic conversation right from the start. Then it was time for bed.
(Before I start the next day, I’ll give you a little more information about Geert & Emma’s kids and grandkids. Emmie married Arie Knot and they have 6 boys: Patriek, Geert, Rob, Steffan, Sven, and Joran. Sandra married Geert Dijkstra and they have 5 children: Marcel, Erwin, Mathijn, Emma, and Eva. Tony married Judith and they have 4 boys: Gerard, Robert, Cristian, and Daniel. Renate married Arjan and they have 4 children: Mark, Robin, Manon, and Kirsten.)
Friday I woke up around 10am after a fantastic sleep. Renate made me toast, one with gouda and one with dark chocolate sprinkles. Mmmmm, lekker. In the afternoon we ventured into the village of Uithuizen to do some wandering and shopping. We stopped at Patriek’s butcher shop to see him and Mark, and to buy some meat. We brought our stuff home and then went for a little drive. We ended up at a random dyke and walked up it. I was hit with a lot of wind and the smell of sheep. But I loved it. Then we went to Noordpolderzijl, a random little harbour with a restaurant. We walked up to the top and took more pictures, then came back down and bought some ice cream :). Eventually we made our way back to the house. That evening we had a bbq and made some salads. I had my first experience with speklap. It’s a thick sort of bacon with Dutch curry spices. Basically my new favorite food even though its so bad for you. Haha. And then we drank beer and sat in the cabana in the sun with some more vla <3
On Saturday me, Arjan, Renate, Manon, Kirsten, Emmie, Robert, and Geert all went to Termunterzijl to a festival called Over De Vloed. We walked around, listened to some live music, went on a little boat tour down a canal. Then we got some drinks and fish. It was so cute and relaxing. After we got back we hung out at Geert’s for about half an hour, then went home and had supper. I think we got takeout for supper. Croqueten and frikandel speciaal’s <3 That evening Renate, Mark, and I went to Tony and Judith’s. All the cousins around my age were there so I could meet them. It was so lovely.
Sunday! The day of the family bbq! At 9:30 we went to church. Afterwards we went to Tony and Judith’s for coffee for about 45 minutes. Lunch consisted of a family effort to make pannekoeken with strawberries and scrambled eggs. Everyone laid low in the afternoon. I had a 2 hour nap. And at 4pm family started to arrive for the bbq. It was awesome. We just all did the usual. Hugged. Ate good food. Drank coffee. Drank beer. Laughed. And I struggled through the language barrier at certain times. But that also provides a good laugh. I chatted with everyone at some point I’m pretty sure, but I talked a little longer to the ones that are more-so my age. I really wanted to start creating relationships with the relatives from my generation because I think that that has the potential to become a special bond. My heart was so happy and content. Throughout the entire evening I kept looking around at everyone and just smiling to myself. I have such a unique connection to them. I love them. <3 The gathering finally died down and people said their goodbyes. But I just kept smiling. Oh I was so happy. Again, it felt like I was dreaming.
Monday was fun day. Sandra showed up in the morning and asked me if I wanted to go canoeing in the afternoon. I said “I don’t really canoe..but okay!” She responded by saying “oh don’t worry there are also Canadian canoes!”. I was quite confused. But after she left I realized that she meant kayaking, and that Canadian canoes are what we just call regular canoes. Haha. She returned around 1:30 with Emmie, Gerard, Robert, and Mathijn. We drove to Camp Zuiderhorn about 10 minutes away and rented some kayaks and a canoe. We went down the canals into the nearest town, Warffum. At a cute little pier area in the middle of town is where we stopped. Sandra and Emmie had brought snacks, plus Gerard and Mathijn walked to the nearest store and bought some popsicles. It was fabulous. We sat in the sun and enjoyed each other’s company before making our way back. Supper was held outside on the patio because the weather was so amazing. The evening probably ended with us sitting in the cabana enjoying the sun.
On Tuesday Renate, Emmie, and I drove to Groningen to do some shopping. We wandered around the Grote Markt area. It’s basically just a mall but all outdoors. Pretty neat. We took a break and had a beverage on a terrace. Then continued on for a while before heading home before supper. That evening Renate, Arjan, and I went over to Geert’s place (Tony & Judith live right next door to Geert, so they also came over) for drinks and family history lessons. Haha. Renate actually just brought along the family book that has photos and lists of family all the way back to the 1700’s. It was very cool. My brain was quite full after going through the entire thing. So fun though. And as usual the evening was filled with laughter, beer, snacks, memories, and me being lost for most of the conversations. But I loved every second of it.
Wednesday! This was the morning that I changed my flight to Saturday evening instead of Thursday afternoon. BEST decision I’ve ever made. That afternoon Renate, Manon, and I went to the carnival that was in the center of Uithuizen. Went on some rides, did the bumper cars, and got some cotton candy of course. Then Renate and I went and picked up Geert from his place in Roodeschool and went on a tour. First we stopped at Emma’s grave. It was sad. And it really made her death feel real. But in a way it also has a sense of closure. From there we drove to Zijldijk. This is the village where my Opa was born and raised. It’s where 2 of his brothers spent almost their entire lives. It’s where Renate spent a huge portion of her childhood. It’s where my family comes from. We drove around the little village. Geert was constantly pointing things out that he thought I’d like to know. What a cutie. We stopped and visited the graves of my great Opa, and my great uncles: Remko and Jurrien. Renate drove us to Eemshaven so I could see the shipping area and some masssssive windmills up close. Then we went to a more old school windmill called Goliath. The lady who works there let us inside and we climbed up some very steep stairs. It was so cool. We dropped off Geert on our way home. Arjan and Manon took control of supper that evening which was fantastic.
Thursday. I slept in. :) Everyone was gone when I woke up. Arjan, Renate, and Mark were at work. Robin, Manon, and Kirsten were at school. So from the moment I got up I was blasting music from the speakers in the kitchen. I made coffee and toast while dancing like an idiot. I had just sat down to eat when Mark came through the door for his lunch break. I GUARANTEE he was waiting for me to sit down so that I wasn’t embarrassed. Hahaha. What a nice guy. Too funny. Him and I ate lunch together, then he went back to work. I went on a mini adventure down the road to the greatest old school thrift shop I’ve ever been to. It’s basically 2 large old barns, and it’s FILLED with everything you could think of; furniture, rugs, clothes, dishware, books, vinyl, tins, and so on. I went through every single box of records and down every single isle on the main floor. I think almost 2 hours had passed so I didn’t even look at the second floor. Everyone came home soon after I got back and we had supper together. Then Renate brought me to Tony and Judith’s so I could spend some more time with their family. We did the usual; hang around, drink coffee and beer, eat snacks, and laugh. Judith has a part time daycare in her house during the week, so there was a big pile of flashcards on her table that each had an animal on them. She gave me the pile and everyone made me pronounce all the animals. Just a casual Dutch lesson. We had a few good laughs, mostly at my expense. Haha. Since the moment I arrived 1 week earlier I had been complimenting Tony on his beautiful plaid shirt. Which, by the way, he wore every single time I saw him. Great choice. I love a good plaid. So that night when I was at their house, of course I just had to say how much I supported his plaid shirt. He got up and walked away, then came back with a plaid IDENTICAL to the one he was wearing. It was the cutest thing ever. My heart melted a little bit. #twinning. We took a photo to commemorate the moment. Then he drove me home :)
Friday! My last full day. I got up around 10 I think. Renate and I went shopping for groceries and beer. We bought 3 crates. Just to be safe. We then had lunch together and planned out the rest of the day. Judith came over with Emmie and Patriek’s son/her grandson. Emmie stayed to watch him and Renate’s kids while Judith, Renate, and I went shopping to a second hand store. My favorite. I bought a lovely little delft-looking vase. Then we strolled around Uithuizen and bought some food for the evening. I went home with Judith to Roodeschool for supper. She made me speklap. It was amazing, as usual. We had coffee after supper and hung around. I soaked in every moment. Then all of us, Tony, Judith, Gerard, Robert, myself, Cristian, and Daniel all went to Uithuizen to watch Renate and one of our cousins in some kind of event with horses and wagons of sorts. I can’t really explain it, but there are photos. It was cool. Renate was so happy :) Gerard went to get his girlfriend Fenne and then them, myself, and Robert left together. I had convinced Gerard and Fenne to let me do a photoshoot of them. I mean to me it was an obvious choice. The light is MAGICAL in the evening. Gerard is just a little cutie. Fenne is gorgeous and her hair is NATURALLY that curly. And they’re ADORABLE together. It was seriously amazing. My heart could hardly deal with how lovely it was. <3 <3 Oh, and Robert came along as my personal translator/purse and phone holder. That was nice. :) After we finished shooting we went back to Renate’s for my farewell gathering. Geert and all his kids and many of his grandkids were there. We sat around Renate’s kitchen and drank beer and had snacks. Patriek was the first one to leave, thus was the first one subject to my hugs and emotions. We hugged, and he was ready to be done relatively quickly, but I just stood there and kept hugging him so tightly. Everyone died of laughter. It was fantastic. The younger people went outside and we played some beer pong. People slowly started to leave and come say their goodbyes. I gave a lot of hugs that night. Eventually it was just Renate, Arjan, and myself. We brought out the vla the final midnight snack. Mmmmm. SO good. Then it was finally time for bed. One last night in paradise.
Saturday. It felt a bit hectic, but it was fun. I showered, packed, and got ready. Joran came over and all the kids were playing a card game. We had brunch randomly and quickly. Arjan and Renate rounded up the kids and we went outside to take family photos. SO cute. I love them. I finished gathering up my stuff, and said goodbye to Mark, Robin, and Joran. Arjan, Renate, the twins, and I drove to Roodeschool to pick up Robert. We arrived and I got out to say some goodbyes. I hugged Geert, Judith, and Cristian. The tears finally came through. I got back in the car and we began our drive to Amsterdam. During the trip we talked, jammed out, tried to spot yellow cars, stopped for coffee and koek, and had some good laughs. Then we arrived at Schiphol. We made our way inside and found the KLM bag drop. I checked my suitcase and then we walked to the panorama terrace on the 3rd floor. As I stood on that ledge it finally began to hit me that I was leaving. I barely held it together while we walked back downstairs. Eventually we arrived at the point where we had to part ways. I put down my bags and turned to Renate. We stood there and held each other. I sobbed and thanked her for the greatest week ever. I said that this wasn’t goodbye, it was just a see you later. I promised that I would come back soon. I gave the twins each a little squeeze. Such cuties. They’re probably traumatized from all my tears. Next I hugged Arjan. I thanked him for welcoming me into their home and driving me around. :) Then I turned to Robert. Still sobbing, I hugged him tightly. The only thing I said was “I’ll miss you”. We had become such good friends over the past week and had so many fun times. I somehow managed to let go and pick up my bags. I hugged Renate once more then walked away. I turned and waved to them a last time before heading through security. My head and feet kept me going, but my chest felt heavy, as if my heart was being left behind.
I’m sure you already all know that I’m a highly emotional person. So you shouldn’t be surprised that I cried quite frequently in the hours and days after leaving Holland. I cried going through security. I cried while boarding. I cried while taking off. I cried during the flight. I cried when landing in London. I cried when I was reunited with my teammates. I cried when we left London for Edmonton the next day. I cried when I got to my house. I cried doing my laundry. I cried driving home to Neerlandia the following day.
All I could think about was how I wanted to be back in Uithuizen. Sadness would well up inside me and my heart would ache in my chest. Tears streamed down my face as I sat in silence. Over and over and over. Even the slightest thoughts about my trip would set me off. I physically and mentally could not deal with leaving Holland. The connections I developed were so quick and so deep. I had finally found a piece of me that was missing. From the moment I had arrived I knew I was home. I knew that I would never be the same. I knew that leaving would be impossible. And I knew that I would be back as soon as I could.
After seeing my mom it all got a lot better. When I arrived home in Neerlandia I just hugged her and sobbed. She’s been to Holland 3 times, so I didn’t even have to say anything because I knew that she knew EXACTLY how I felt. After hugging my parents, and when the tears subsided, we discussed my trip at length. For hours we talked about Holland, looked at photos, laughed, and cried some more. And since then it’s been a lot easier to deal.
Now for my favorite part, nice words about all my favorite people. <3 <3
Arjan & Renate. Where do I even begin? From the moment I stepped into their house I knew I was at home. They welcomed me with open arms. Renate is kind, laid back, hilarious, and honest. Arjan is calm, intuitive, spontaneous, and understanding. I appreciate all the conversations the 3 of us had. I also cannot thank them enough for introducing me to vla, the most magical pudding dessert of all time. Throughout the entire week we just laughed, talked, danced, ate, slept, drank, and laughed some more. Every single moment I spent with them was amazing.
Mark. This guy was so sociable from the moment he met me. He was always asking me how I was doing, how my day was, what else I would do with my time in Holland. He wanted to know lots about Canada so we had many conversations about that. I am so proud of him for graduating and hope he always keeps his positive outlook on life.
Robin. He is more of the quiet one. The first few days I was there he didn’t really talk to me. So eventually I just initiated lots of conversation and slowly I started to see his personality. Everything he says is with the same tone, so one day I looked at him and said “Robin. You need to smile more. You have a great smile. And I have no idea if you’re joking or dead serious when you talk.” He looked at me for a second and then the biggest grin spread across his face. That was a great moment :)
Manon and Kirsten. Such adorable girls. Crazy. But adorable. I have no idea who’s who, so I just guessed every single time. They can be soft spoken, at times. Haha. And at other times they are very outgoing, basically bouncing off the walls and driving Renate crazy. But even though I couldn’t fully communicate with them we did have fun times and laughed a lot. <3
These children are all so amazing and have found a very special place in my heart <3
Geert. My heart cannot handle how much I love this man. He is loving, funny, sociable(even though we couldn’t converse), and supportive. He gives great hugs. His laugh is contagious. His smile is adorable. And his presence is comforting. When I was around Geert I felt a very strong connection. His wife Emma had been one of the main reasons why my family and theirs stayed so close. And because of her recent passing, so many emotions were out in the open. It was definitely emotional at times, but we also didn’t dwell on the sadness. We had fun times and made some great memories together too.
Tony & Judith. Cuties. Just cuties. Tony is amazing. He is calm and laid back, but also quite funny and stubborn. Like not in a bad way, he just has a routine and likes things the way he likes them. Haha. Being around Tony felt very familiar because he talks and tells stories JUST like some of my uncles(his cousins). And to top it all off, he has great style. Plaid is always a great choice. Judith is wonderful. She is bubbly, warm, hilarious, and blunt. Being around her is like a breath of fresh air. Her presence brightens a room. I immediately felt welcome when I came into their home. We talked, laughed, ate, drank, laughed, talked, and laughed. Her laugh is fantastic. I love it. And I love all the windows in their house <3 <3
Gerard. Him and I hung out when we were like 4 years old, so we were kind of already friends. Haha. But actually, it took a little while to get to know this guy. We had the standard conversations, which was fine. But those of you who know me know that I LOOOOVE questions. So one day I just said “Gerard, I want to get to know you better.” And then I asked him a million questions. He looked at me like I was nuts. Some examples of those questions being: What do you love to do? What kind of job do you want? Why don’t you smoke? Why do you still live at home? Do you ever think you’ll come visit Canada? Will you let me do a photo-shoot of you and Fenne? How did you and Fenne meet? How long have you been dating? Do you think she’s a forever kind of girl? What do you like about her? Can you wear this specific outfit on the shoot? Can you go buy me some white garlic sauce for supper because I hate tomato sauce? You get the gist of it..haha. But in all seriousness, he answered all my questions. Gerard is a mixture of things; friendly, funny, welcoming, and strong-willed. After experiencing a fraction of my full personality I’d definitely say we’re friends. Haha.
Robert. Another cutie. Well I saw him the first 2 days and we barely exchanged more than a few sentences, so I’m not sure if it was my intense/vast personality or the fact that he’s just a bit closed off. But then at the family BBQ on Sunday evening we ended up talking for quite a while. I figured out through my method of question-asking that he speaks relatively 100% fluent English, so that made my life a lot easier. Because we could communicate so well we became good friends fairly quickly after that. This created room for jokes and making fun of each other. Robert is quiet and laid back, but VERY stubborn. He would never admit that I was right about something even if he knew I was. I learnt this very fast. After we got used to each other I started to see a different side of him. I realized that he’s thoughtful, he’s a great listener, he’s personable, and he’s someone I knew I could trust. I felt like I could tell him anything. I felt like I had made a new lifelong friend. So to pretty much sum it up, we talked, laughed, and drank beer.
Cristian. This kid is adorable. He has the cutest freckles. And I love his cheeks. Oh, and he’s 15 years old. I keep forgetting. Haha. He is very charismatic and has a certain spark about him. He felt right at home making fun of me for loving soft light and always forgetting his age. But I’ll never stop calling him a cutie and loving his cheeks. :)
Arie & Emmie. I only briefly saw Arie 2 times during my 9 days in Uithuizen, but I immediately got the vibe that he’s very caring, patient, and compassionate. Emmie is lovely. She is the mother of 6 boys, ranging in ages from about 33-15. She is strong, helpful, gentle, and direct. I love how she just says her opinion and doesn’t think twice about it. She was so fun to have around and we had a lot of good conversation over coffees. I reeeeaaallllly hope she comes to Canada next year!
The 6 boys(I only saw 5 while I was there): They are all shy and reserved. They do not initiate conversation. But once I started asking questions they cracked a few smiles and responded very briefly. And they are GREAT huggers.
Geert & Sandra. I only saw Geert 2 times as well during my stay. But the times that I did he was so nice and shook my hand and said hello. I noticed right away that he’s friendly and has a sense of humor. Sandra is so nice. She is quiet and soft spoken. She was so happy that I was in Holland and she talked to me a lot even though her English isn’t as strong. I appreciated it so much and felt welcomed by her immediately. She even organized the afternoon of our canoe/kayak trip just for me, which was so lovely of her. :)
I met all 5 of their kids, but didn’t really talk too much to them. Mathijn was the only one I talked to for quite a while on the night of the family BBQ. His English is pretty much fluent so that was great. He also came canoeing/kayaking which was super fun. Mathijn is nice, patient, and actually so funny. I felt like he was always laughing. That was great. :)
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I was slightly nervous at first about doing this trip to north Holland alone, but I actually really enjoyed it. I felt like I was meeting my family for the first time, and doing it on my own as an adult was so fun. I got to be fully immersed because I was the only one there. I made my own memories with them. One of the coolest parts was developing relationships with everyone who’s around the same age as me. I kept thinking, these are the people of my generation. These are my new friends. These are the people that I’m going to come visit throughout my lifetime. By the end of the trip my heart was holding more love than I thought possible. And I knew that I had found another home.
So basically, I just love everyone and I’ll be going back as soon as possible. :)