Okay. To try put all my thoughts and feelings about this into words is going to be tough. But here we go.
In early December my dad received a call from one of his sisters that his biological father/my biological grandfather, Manny Nanninga, had become very ill and was not expected to live more than a few weeks. He then called me and asked if I would go to Abbotsford with him the following week. I said yes without hesitation. I had never met Manny before. This trip would be a chance to do that, as well as a time for my dad and me to meet his 3 (5 in total) half siblings that don't live in Edmonton. Plus a whole load of cousins for me. So yah, there would be a lot of meetings. We were both excited yet nervous. And looking back, my expectations, whatever they were, were far exceeded.
Our flight was at 7:30pm on Tuesday, December 13th. So of course we were really early and indulged in some food and drinks at No. 99 Gretzky's Wine & Whiskey bar while we waited to board. Once in Abbotsford we got our luggage, rental car, made our way to the hotel, were in awe at how much snow there was, and then slept. On Wednesday morning our visiting time was scheduled for 10am. We arrived at the lodge where Manny lived and met Christa in the hallway. Christa is my dads youngest sister, so when I say met, I mean we literally met her for the first time right there. She brought us to Manny's room, where Myrna, Tony, and Celena were currently visiting. We know them quite well as they live in Edmonton, so it was comforting to see familiar faces. And then I laid eyes on Manny. He was sitting in his reclining chair, half asleep. Tony kind of woke him up to tell him we were there. So we walked over and sat down beside him. My dad said "Hi Manny, it's Roger, and this is my daughter Heidi." He looked up at us with his gruff expression and made eye contact. He recognized my dad right away because they had seen each other before, but this was the first time he was putting a face to my name. And through his confusion and stubbornness I know without a shadow of a doubt that he knew it was me. His eyes were piercing, they took my breathe away for a moment. In that one second of eye contact I could see a release, like a weight had been lifted. He didn't say anything, but just closed his eyes again. So I held his hand, and we just sat with him for an hour or so. We knew that he hadn't completely been himself for a couple weeks, so we didn't expect to have any big conversations, or any conversations at all. We just needed him to know that we were there, that we had come to see him. After our visit we went for lunch with Tony, Myrna, Celena, David, and Kent, my dad's half brother. I vividly remember seeing Kent enter the restaurant. It was almost surreal. The moment I saw him I was hit with such a familiar feeling. I sat there thinking, that's my uncle. That's my dads brother. That's my dad's brother. That's my uncle. Don't get me wrong, having 4 new aunts is awesome, but there's something about having an uncle. It's like I have another part of my dad. Anyways, he arrived, we hugged, him and my dad hugged, and it was the cutest thing ever. I just sat there watching them interacting. Flippin adorable. Once we finished eating we all ran a few errands and then met back at the lodge for the potluck. It was Manny's forever wish that all his children would be together with him for a meal. So that's what we did. There were 25ish people there, which obviously led to many more introductions and meetings. The most prominent ones for me were my dads sisters Heather and Laurel, and Manny's wife Lois. The potluck was just a wonderful and completely natural family gathering. Manny opened in prayer and the Spirit was felt and acknowledged in that space. It was powerful. He motioned for my dad to sit next to him during the meal. I did my thing and snapped photos in-between conversations. We felt 100% welcomed, 100% accepted, 100% ourselves. After we were done at the lodge we went to Christa and Reg's place with Kent for a drink and chat. So much amazing and open conversation. Oh how God works in wondrous ways. That through such pain and sorrow can come so much love and beauty. And after such an emotion filled day we both slept like rocks for 10-11 hours straight.
On Thursday we visited Manny at 11am. It was similar to the day before. That afternoon we explored Old Abbotsford. We wandered through some lovely vintage and local shops. Had lunch at a cafeteria-style diner. BEST sandwich I've ever eaten. Stumbled into a record store owned by the cutest older couple ever with the biggest dog ever. We perused the vinyl for a while, I bought some Supertramp. Lastly we hit a coffee shop and had some strong espresso. Much needed. Then we went to Lois's for supper. Kent and Myrna were also there. So that was cute and fun. Then Myrna flew home to Edmonton that night.
Friday! Adventure day. My dad and I started by crossing the U.S. border and driving to Lynden, Washington. CUUUUUTE little Dutch town. We drove slowly. Passed like 3 Reformed churches in 1 minute. Hahaha. Classic. Grabbed coffee from a windmill cafe. There were 3 old men having coffee together and speaking Dutch, so adorable. We kept driving and ended up in Bellingham, Washington, on the coast. There was no agenda or plan other than just to drive and explore. We passed more breweries than I can count, so we stopped at one that was also a restaurant. AMAZING food. And we bought caps. :) We slowly made our way back to Abbotsford. It was about 3pm when we visited Manny. He was more alert since it was after his nap. We chatted for about an hour. It was nice. For supper we met Kent at a local restaurant. I think we spent like 3 hours there with him. It was a nice chance for us to talk to him alone and get to know his personality more. And wow. There was healing. We waded through feelings and experiences and all I can still say is wow. I see SO many similarities between Kent and my dad. His kindness and compassion are always evident. The entire time I was sitting beside him I sensed immense strength and security. The same feeling I get from my dad. It was one my favorite moments from the trip.
Saturday, our last day, and another adventure day! We arrived at Reg and Christa's place around 9:30am. The 4 of us along with their 3 children drove into Vancouver to get away for a while. We went to Cleveland Dam, a lookout on Cyprus Mountain, Stanley Park, and ended up on Granville Island, where we strolled for hours. My dad and I both LOVE markets and shops and such so it was the perfect place to wander around. We eventually made our way back to the vehicle and on the drive home Christa INSISTED we stop at Ikea for $1 chocolate bars. But sadly they had none, so we made due with frozen yogurt and coffee. Reg dropped dad and I off to visit Manny one last time and say goodbye. We sat and talked with him through his supper until Reg returned to pick us up. He was very spunky that afternoon and we finally got to see his sense of humor and personality come out a bit. That was nice. But it was a strange feeling knowing it was the last time we would see Manny alive. I took his hand and told him how nice it was to have met him. After dad said goodbye, we left, and went back to Reg and Christa's for supper. That time was filled with amazing heartfelt conversation, tears of course, and boxed wine. :) Then we said another goodbye, this one much happier, yet still sad. I am so thrilled to have Reg and Christa as my uncle and aunt. I felt 100% myself the entire time I was around them, and I would fly back to Abbotsford in a heartbeat to go visit/sleep in their garage turned bedroom. Haha. Then we made our way to Lois's for coffee with her and Kent. That time was also filled with lovely conversation and thankfulness to Lois for her hospitality towards us. Eventually we had to say our goodbyes to them as well. We hugged, and obviously I shed some more tears. But in the end my heart was 1000 times more overjoyed than sad. My mind is still blown that I have all this amazing family. Our flight was changed to leave 4 hours earlier due to snow the next day so we had to get up at 3am. Everything flowed smoothly and we arrived back home in Neerlandia around 2pm the next afternoon. We debriefed with Cora and headed for much needed naps. The following hours and days were frequented with discussions about our "new" family. I went back to Edmonton for 3 days to have routine scans and results done. During that time I went to Tony and Myrna's for supper. All their kids were out for Christmas so that was SUPER special. However, it was a bittersweet evening. Myrna received a phone call from Lois that Manny had passed away. I could see and feel the grief in my family, it was like a rock hit everyone in the gut. And although I didn't feel the same, in terms of not having had a personal connection with Manny, I did very much understand the feeling of loss. My grandpa was my best friend. I was 10 when he died, so it didn't really hit me. But the older I get the bigger the hole inside me gets. At the slightest thought of him I'm immediately crying. So seeing people I love overcome with those same feelings in the freshest form was hard. I exited the room and called my parents to tell them. After that we all had dessert and sat in the living room reminiscing. I listened while everyone shared memories. And I got to know Manny a little better in those tender moments.
Throughout this whole process of meeting my aunts and uncles and cousins my mind has consistently been blown by God's hand in it all. Something that Kent said has stuck with me to this day. "Everything is better in the light". WOWWWWW. My heart swells thinking about this. The enemy wants darkness and division and resentment and separation. But Jesus, oh Jesus wants LIGHT. He IS light. He is healing and togetherness and love and connection. And after so many years we were led to this place, a place that has given us more family. I am overcome with gratefulness and cannot wait to continue doing life with all these amazing new people in it <3 <3
P.S. Annika, Reg & Christa's daughter, ended up winning the GIANT chocolate Santa from Roger's Chocolates. you'll know what I'm talking about when you get to the picture. haha.
